Childish Recollections

"I cannot but remember such things were, And were most dear to me." "That were most precious to me."

'Macbeth', act iv, sc. 3.

1. 1When slow Disease, with all her host of Pains,
2. 2Chills the warm tide, which flows along the veins;
3. 3When Health, affrighted, spreads her rosy wing,
4. 4And flies with every changing gale of spring;
5. 5Not to the aching frame alone confin'd,
6. 6Unyielding pangs assail the drooping mind:
7. 7What grisly forms, the spectre-train of woe,
8. 8Bid shuddering Nature shrink beneath the blow,
9. 9With Resignation wage relentless strife,
10. 10While Hope retires appall'd, and clings to life.
11. 11Yet less the pang when, through the tedious hour,
12. 12Remembrance sheds around her genial power,
13. 13Calls back the vanish'd days to rapture given,
14. 14When Love was bliss, and Beauty form'd our heaven;
15. 15Or, dear to youth, pourtrays each childish scene,
16. 16Those fairy bowers, where all in turn have been.
17. 17As when, through clouds that pour the summer storm,
18. 18The orb of day unveils his distant form,
19. 19Gilds with faint beams the crystal dews of rain
20. 20And dimly twinkles o'er the watery plain;
21. 21Thus, while the future dark and cheerless gleams,
22. 22The Sun of Memory, glowing through my dreams,
23. 23Though sunk the radiance of his former blaze,
24. 24To scenes far distant points his paler rays,
25. 25Still rules my senses with unbounded sway,
26. 26The past confounding with the present day.

1. 27Oft does my heart indulge the rising thought,
2. 28Which still recurs, unlook'd for and unsought;
3. 29My soul to Fancy's fond suggestion yields,
4. 30And roams romantic o'er her airy fields.
5. 31Scenes of my youth, develop'd, crowd to view,
6. 32To which I long have bade a last adieu!
7. 33Seats of delight, inspiring youthful themes;
8. 34Friends lost to me, for aye, except in dreams;
9. 35Some, who in marble prematurely sleep,
10. 36Whose forms I now remember, but to weep;
11. 37Some, who yet urge the same scholastic course
12. 38Of early science, future fame the source;
13. 39Who, still contending in the studious race,
14. 40In quick rotation, fill the senior place!
15. 41These, with a thousand visions, now unite,
16. 42To dazzle, though they please, my aching sight.

1. 43IDA! blest spot, where Science holds her reign,
2. 44How joyous, once, I join'd thy youthful train!
3. 45Bright, in idea, gleams thy lofty spire,
4. 46Again, I mingle with thy playful quire;
5. 47Our tricks of mischief, [4] every childish game,
6. 48Unchang'd by time or distance, seem the same;
7. 49Through winding paths, along the glade I trace
8. 50The social smile of every welcome face;
9. 51My wonted haunts, my scenes of joy or woe,
10. 52Each early boyish friend, or youthful foe,
11. 53Our feuds dissolv'd, but not my friendship past,--
12. 54I bless the former, and forgive the last.
13. 55Hours of my youth! when, nurtur'd in my breast,
14. 56To Love a stranger, Friendship made me blest,--
15. 57Friendship, the dear peculiar bond of youth,
16. 58When every artless bosom throbs with truth;
17. 59Untaught by worldly wisdom how to feign,
18. 60And check each impulse with prudential rein;
19. 61When, all we feel, our honest souls disclose,
20. 62In love to friends, in open hate to foes;
21. 63No varnish'd tales the lips of youth repeat,
22. 64No dear-bought knowledge purchased by deceit;
23. 65Hypocrisy, the gift of lengthen'd years,
24. 66Matured by age, the garb of Prudence wears:
25. 67When, now, the Boy is ripen'd into Man,
26. 68His careful Sire chalks forth some wary plan;
27. 69Instructs his Son from Candour's path to shrink,
28. 70Smoothly to speak, and cautiously to think;
29. 71Still to assent, and never to deny--
30. 72A patron's praise can well reward the lie:
31. 73And who, when Fortune's warning voice is heard,
32. 74Would lose his opening prospects for a word?
33. 75Although, against that word, his heart rebel,
34. 76And Truth, indignant, all his bosom swell.

1. 77Away with themes like this! not mine the task,
2. 78From flattering friends to tear the hateful mask;
3. 79Let keener bards delight in Satire's sting,
4. 80My Fancy soars not on Detraction's wing:
5. 81Once, and but once, she aim'd a deadly blow,
6. 82To hurl Defiance on a secret Foe;
7. 83But when that foe, from feeling or from shame,
8. 84The cause unknown, yet still to me the same,
9. 85Warn'd by some friendly hint, perchance, retir'd,
10. 86With this submission all her rage expired.
11. 87From dreaded pangs that feeble Foe to save,
12. 88She hush'd her young resentment, and forgave.
13. 89Or, if my Muse a Pedant's portrait drew,
14. 90POMPOSUS' virtues are but known to few:
15. 91I never fear'd the young usurper's nod,
16. 92And he who wields must, sometimes, feel the rod.
17. 93If since on Granta's failings, known to all
18. 94Who share the converse of a college hall,
19. 95She sometimes trifled in a lighter strain,
20. 96'Tis past, and thus she will not sin again:
21. 97Soon must her early song for ever cease,
22. 98And, all may rail, when I shall rest in peace.

1. 99Here, first remember'd be the joyous band,
2. 100Who hail'd me chief, obedient to command;
3. 101Who join'd with me, in every boyish sport,
4. 102Their first adviser, and their last resort;
5. 103Nor shrunk beneath the upstart pedant's frown,
6. 104Or all the sable glories of his gown;
7. 105Who, thus, transplanted from his father's school,
8. 106Unfit to govern, ignorant of rule--
9. 107Succeeded him, whom all unite to praise,
10. 108The dear preceptor of my early days,
11. 109PROBUS, the pride of science, and the boast--
12. 110To IDA now, alas! for ever lost!
13. 111With him, for years, we search'd the classic page,
14. 112And fear'd the Master, though we lov'd the Sage:
15. 113Retir'd at last, his small yet peaceful seat
16. 114From learning's labour is the blest retreat.
17. 115POMPOSUS fills his magisterial chair;
18. 116POMPOSUS governs,--but, my Muse, forbear:
19. 117Contempt, in silence, be the pedant's lot,
20. 118His name and precepts be alike forgot;
21. 119No more his mention shall my verse degrade,--
22. 120To him my tribute is already paid.

1. 121High, through those elms with hoary branches crown'd
2. 122Fair IDA'S bower adorns the landscape round;
3. 123There Science, from her favour'd seat, surveys
4. 124The vale where rural Nature claims her praise;
5. 125To her awhile resigns her youthful train,
6. 126Who move in joy, and dance along the plain;
7. 127In scatter'd groups, each favour'd haunt pursue,
8. 128Repeat old pastimes, and discover new;
9. 129Flush'd with his rays, beneath the noontide Sun,
10. 130In rival bands, between the wickets run,
11. 131Drive o'er the sward the ball with active force,
12. 132Or chase with nimble feet its rapid course.
13. 133But these with slower steps direct their way,
14. 134Where Brent's cool waves in limpid currents stray,
15. 135While yonder few search out some green retreat,
16. 136And arbours shade them from the summer heat:
17. 137Others, again, a pert and lively crew,
18. 138Some rough and thoughtless stranger plac'd in view,
19. 139With frolic quaint their antic jests expose,
20. 140And tease the grumbling rustic as he goes;
21. 141Nor rest with this, but many a passing fray
22. 142Tradition treasures for a future day:
23. 143"'Twas here the gather'd swains for vengeance fought,
24. 144And here we earn'd the conquest dearly bought:
25. 145Here have we fled before superior might,
26. 146And here renew'd the wild tumultuous fight."
27. 147While thus our souls with early passions swell,
28. 148In lingering tones resounds the distant bell;
29. 149Th' allotted hour of daily sport is o'er,
30. 150And Learning beckons from her temple's door.
31. 151No splendid tablets grace her simple hall,
32. 152But ruder records fill the dusky wall:
33. 153There, deeply carv'd, behold! each Tyro's name
34. 154Secures its owner's academic fame;
35. 155Here mingling view the names of Sire and Son,
36. 156The one long grav'd, the other just begun:
37. 157These shall survive alike when Son and Sire,
38. 158Beneath one common stroke of fate expire;
39. 159Perhaps, their last memorial these alone,
40. 160Denied, in death, a monumental stone,
41. 161Whilst to the gale in mournful cadence wave
42. 162The sighing weeds, that hide their nameless grave.
43. 163And, here, my name, and many an early friend's,
44. 164Along the wall in lengthen'd line extends.
45. 165Though, still, our deeds amuse the youthful race,
46. 166Who tread our steps, and fill our former place,
47. 167Who young obeyed their lords in silent awe,
48. 168Whose nod commanded, and whose voice was law;
49. 169And now, in turn, possess the reins of power,
50. 170To rule, the little Tyrants of an hour;
51. 171Though sometimes, with the Tales of ancient day,
52. 172They pass the dreary Winter's eve away;
53. 173"And, thus, our former rulers stemm'd the tide,
54. 174And, thus, they dealt the combat, side by side;
55. 175Just in this place, the mouldering walls they scaled,
56. 176Nor bolts, nor bars, against their strength avail'd;
57. 177Here PROBUS came, the rising fray to quell,
58. 178And, here, he falter'd forth his last farewell;
59. 179And, here, one night abroad they dared to roam,
60. 180While bold POMPOSUS bravely staid at home;"
61. 181While thus they speak, the hour must soon arrive,
62. 182When names of these, like ours, alone survive:
63. 183Yet a few years, one general wreck will whelm
64. 184The faint remembrance of our fairy realm.

1. 185Dear honest race! though now we meet no more,
2. 186One last long look on what we were before--
3. 187Our first kind greetings, and our last adieu--
4. 188Drew tears from eyes unus'd to weep with you.
5. 189Through splendid circles, Fashion's gaudy world,
6. 190Where Folly's glaring standard waves unfurl'd,
7. 191I plung'd to drown in noise my fond regret,
8. 192And all I sought or hop'd was to forget:
9. 193Vain wish! if, chance, some well-remember'd face,
10. 194Some old companion of my early race,
11. 195Advanc'd to claim his friend with honest joy,
12. 196My eyes, my heart, proclaim'd me still a boy;
13. 197The glittering scene, the fluttering groups around,
14. 198Were quite forgotten when my friend was found;
15. 199The smiles of Beauty, (for, alas! I've known
16. 200What 'tis to bend before Love's mighty throne;)
17. 201The smiles of Beauty, though those smiles were dear,
18. 202Could hardly charm me, when that friend was near:
19. 203My thoughts bewilder'd in the fond surprise,
20. 204The woods of IDA danc'd before my eyes;
21. 205I saw the sprightly wand'rers pour along,
22. 206I saw, and join'd again the joyous throng;
23. 207Panting, again I trac'd her lofty grove,
24. 208And Friendship's feelings triumph'd over Love.

1. 209Yet, why should I alone with such delight
2. 210Retrace the circuit of my former flight?
3. 211Is there no cause beyond the common claim,
4. 212Endear'd to all in childhood's very name?
5. 213Ah! sure some stronger impulse vibrates here,
6. 214Which whispers friendship will be doubly dear
7. 215To one, who thus for kindred hearts must roam,
8. 216And seek abroad, the love denied at home.
9. 217Those hearts, dear IDA, have I found in thee,
10. 218A home, a world, a paradise to me.
11. 219Stern Death forbade my orphan youth to share
12. 220The tender guidance of a Father's care;
13. 221Can Rank, or e'en a Guardian's name supply
14. 222The love, which glistens in a Father's eye?
15. 223For this, can Wealth, or Title's sound atone,
16. 224Made, by a Parent's early loss, my own?
17. 225What Brother springs a Brother's love to seek?
18. 226What Sister's gentle kiss has prest my cheek?
19. 227For me, how dull the vacant moments rise,
20. 228To no fond bosom link'd by kindred ties!
21. 229Oft, in the progress of some fleeting dream,
22. 230Fraternal smiles, collected round me seem;
23. 231While still the visions to my heart are prest,
24. 232The voice of Love will murmur in my rest:
25. 233I hear--I wake--and in the sound rejoice!
26. 234I hear again,--but, ah! no Brother's voice.
27. 235A Hermit, 'midst of crowds, I fain must stray
28. 236Alone, though thousand pilgrims fill the way;
29. 237While these a thousand kindred wreaths entwine,
30. 238I cannot call one single blossom mine:
31. 239What then remains? in solitude to groan,
32. 240To mix in friendship, or to sigh alone?
33. 241Thus, must I cling to some endearing hand,
34. 242And none more dear, than IDA'S social band.

1. 243Alonzo! best and dearest of my friends,
2. 244Thy name ennobles him, who thus commends:
3. 245From this fond tribute thou canst gain no praise;
4. 246The praise is his, who now that tribute pays.
5. 247Oh! in the promise of thy early youth,
6. 248If Hope anticipate the words of Truth!
7. 249Some loftier bard shall sing thy glorious name,
8. 250To build his own, upon thy deathless fame:
9. 251Friend of my heart, and foremost of the list
10. 252Of those with whom I lived supremely blest;
11. 253Oft have we drain'd the font of ancient lore,
12. 254Though drinking deeply, thirsting still the more;
13. 255Yet, when Confinement's lingering hour was done,
14. 256Our sports, our studies, and our souls were one:
15. 257Together we impell'd the flying ball,
16. 258Together waited in our tutor's hall;
17. 259Together join'd in cricket's manly toil,
18. 260Or shar'd the produce of the river's spoil;
19. 261Or plunging from the green declining shore,
20. 262Our pliant limbs the buoyant billows bore:
21. 263In every element, unchang'd, the same,
22. 264All, all that brothers should be, but the name.

1. 265Nor, yet, are you forgot, my jocund Boy!
2. 266DAVUS, the harbinger of childish joy;
3. 267For ever foremost in the ranks of fun,
4. 268The laughing herald of the harmless pun;
5. 269Yet, with a breast of such materials made,
6. 270Anxious to please, of pleasing half afraid;
7. 271Candid and liberal, with a heart of steel
8. 272In Danger's path, though not untaught to feel.
9. 273Still, I remember, in the factious strife,
10. 274The rustic's musket aim'd against my life:
11. 275High pois'd in air the massy weapon hung,
12. 276A cry of horror burst from every tongue:
13. 277Whilst I, in combat with another foe,
14. 278Fought on, unconscious of th' impending blow;
15. 279Your arm, brave Boy, arrested his career--
16. 280Forward you sprung, insensible to fear;
17. 281Disarm'd, and baffled by your conquering hand,
18. 282The grovelling Savage roll'd upon the sand:
19. 283An act like this, can simple thanks repay?
20. 284Or all the labours of a grateful lay?
21. 285Oh no! whene'er my breast forgets the deed,
22. 286That instant, DAVUS, it deserves to bleed.

1. 287LYCUS! on me thy claims are justly great:
2. 288Thy milder virtues could my Muse relate,
3. 289To thee, alone, unrivall'd, would belong
4. 290The feeble efforts of my lengthen'd song.
5. 291Well canst thou boast, to lead in senates fit,
6. 292A Spartan firmness, with Athenian wit:
7. 293Though yet, in embryo, these perfections shine,
8. 294LYCUS! thy father's fame will soon be thine.
9. 295Where Learning nurtures the superior mind,
10. 296What may we hope, from genius thus refin'd;
11. 297When Time, at length, matures thy growing years,
12. 298How wilt thou tower, above thy fellow peers!
13. 299Prudence and sense, a spirit bold and free,
14. 300With Honour's soul, united beam in thee.

1. 301Shall fair EURYALUS, pass by unsung?
2. 302From ancient lineage, not unworthy, sprung:
3. 303What, though one sad dissension bade us part,
4. 304That name is yet embalm'd within my heart,
5. 305Yet, at the mention, does that heart rebound,
6. 306And palpitate, responsive to the sound;
7. 307Envy dissolved our ties, and not our will:
8. 308We once were friends,--I'll think, we are so still.
9. 309A form unmatch'd in Nature's partial mould,
10. 310A heart untainted, we, in thee, behold:
11. 311Yet, not the Senate's thunder thou shall wield,
12. 312Nor seek for glory, in the tented field:
13. 313To minds of ruder texture, these be given--
14. 314Thy soul shall nearer soar its native heaven.
15. 315Haply, in polish'd courts might be thy seat,
16. 316But, that thy tongue could never forge deceit:
17. 317The courtier's supple bow, and sneering smile,
18. 318The flow of compliment, the slippery wile,
19. 319Would make that breast, with indignation, burn,
20. 320And, all the glittering snares, to tempt thee, spurn.
21. 321Domestic happiness will stamp thy fate;
22. 322Sacred to love, unclouded e'er by hate;
23. 323The world admire thee, and thy friends adore;--
24. 324Ambition's slave, alone, would toil for more.

1. 325Now last, but nearest, of the social band,
2. 326See honest, open, generous CLEON stand;
3. 327With scarce one speck, to cloud the pleasing scene,
4. 328No vice degrades that purest soul serene.
5. 329On the same day, our studious race begun,
6. 330On the same day, our studious race was run;
7. 331Thus, side by side, we pass'd our first career,
8. 332Thus, side by side, we strove for many a year:
9. 333At last, concluded our scholastic life,
10. 334We neither conquer'd in the classic strife:
11. 335As Speakers, each supports an equal name,
12. 336And crowds allow to both a partial fame:
13. 337To soothe a youthful Rival's early pride,
14. 338Though Cleon's candour would the palm divide,
15. 339Yet Candour's self compels me now to own,
16. 340Justice awards it to my Friend alone.

1. 341Oh! Friends regretted, Scenes for ever dear,
2. 342Remembrance hails you with her warmest tear!
3. 343Drooping, she bends o'er pensive Fancy's urn,
4. 344To trace the hours, which never can return;
5. 345Yet, with the retrospection loves to dwell,
6. 346And soothe the sorrows of her last farewell!
7. 347Yet greets the triumph of my boyish mind,
8. 348As infant laurels round my head were twin'd;
9. 349When PROBUS' praise repaid my lyric song,
10. 350Or plac'd me higher in the studious throng;
11. 351Or when my first harangue receiv'd applause,
12. 352His sage instruction the primeval cause,
13. 353What gratitude, to him, my soul possest,
14. 354While hope of dawning honours fill'd my breast!
15. 355For all my humble fame, to him alone,
16. 356The praise is due, who made that fame my own.
17. 357Oh! could I soar above these feeble lays,
18. 358These young effusions of my early days,
19. 359To him my Muse her noblest strain would give,
20. 360The song might perish, but the theme might live.
21. 361Yet, why for him the needless verse essay?
22. 362His honour'd name requires no vain display:
23. 363By every son of grateful IDA blest,
24. 364It finds an echo in each youthful breast;
25. 365A fame beyond the glories of the proud,
26. 366Or all the plaudits of the venal crowd.

1. 367IDA! not yet exhausted is the theme,
2. 368Nor clos'd the progress of my youthful dream.
3. 369How many a friend deserves the grateful strain!
4. 370What scenes of childhood still unsung remain!
5. 371Yet let me hush this echo of the past,
6. 372This parting song, the dearest and the last;
7. 373And brood in secret o'er those hours of joy,
8. 374To me a silent and a sweet employ,
9. 375While, future hope and fear alike unknown,
10. 376I think with pleasure on the past alone;
11. 377Yes, to the past alone, my heart confine,
12. 378And chase the phantom of what once was mine.

1. 379IDA! still o'er thy hills in joy preside,
2. 380And proudly steer through Time's eventful tide:
3. 381Still may thy blooming Sons thy name revere,
4. 382Smile in thy bower, but quit thee with a tear;--
5. 383That tear, perhaps, the fondest which will flow,
6. 384O'er their last scene of happiness below:
7. 385Tell me, ye hoary few, who glide along,
8. 386The feeble Veterans of some former throng,
9. 387Whose friends, like Autumn leaves by tempests whirl'd,
10. 388Are swept for ever from this busy world;
11. 389Revolve the fleeting moments of your youth,
12. 390While Care has yet withheld her venom'd tooth;
13. 391Say, if Remembrance days like these endears,
14. 392Beyond the rapture of succeeding years?
15. 393Say, can Ambition's fever'd dream bestow
16. 394So sweet a balm to soothe your hours of woe?
17. 395Can Treasures hoarded for some thankless Son,
18. 396Can Royal Smiles, or Wreaths by slaughter won,
19. 397Can Stars or Ermine, Man's maturer Toys,
20. 398(For glittering baubles are not left to Boys,)
21. 399Recall one scene so much belov'd to view,
22. 400As those where Youth her garland twin'd for you?
23. 401Ah, no! amid the gloomy calm of age
24. 402You turn with faltering hand life's varied page,
25. 403Peruse the record of your days on earth,
26. 404Unsullied only where it marks your birth;
27. 405Still, lingering, pause above each chequer'd leaf,
28. 406And blot with Tears the sable lines of Grief;
29. 407Where Passion o'er the theme her mantle threw,
30. 408Or weeping Virtue sigh'd a faint adieu;
31. 409But bless the scroll which fairer words adorn,
32. 410Trac'd by the rosy finger of the Morn;
33. 411When Friendship bow'd before the shrine of truth,
34. 412And Love, without his pinion, smil'd on Youth.