Farewell Petition to J.C.H., Esq.
- 1O THOU yclep'd by vulgar sons of Men
- 2Cam Hobhouse! but by wags Byzantian Ben!
- 3Twin sacred titles, which combined appear
- 4To grace thy volume's front, and gild its rear,
- 5Since now thou put'st thyself and work to Sea
- 6And leav'st all Greece to Fletcher and to me,
- 7Oh, hear my single muse our sorrows tell,
- 8One song for self and Fletcher quite as well--
- 9First to the Castle of that man of woes
- 10Dispatch the letter which I must enclose,
- 11And when his lone Penelope shall say
- 12Why, where, and wherefore doth my William stay?
- 13Spare not to move her pity, or her pride--
- 14By all that Hero suffered, or defied;
- 15The chicken's toughness, and the lack of ale
- 16The stoney mountain and the miry vale
- 17The Garlick steams, which half his meals enrich,
- 18The impending vermin, and the threatened Itch,
- 19That ever breaking Bed, beyond repair!
- 20The hat too old, the coat too cold to wear,
- 21The Hunger, which repulsed from Sally's door
- 22Pursues her grumbling half from shore to shore,
- 23Be these the themes to greet his faithful Rib
- 24So may thy pen be smooth, thy tongue be glib!
- 25This duty done, let me in turn demand
- 26Some friendly office in my native land,
- 27Yet let me ponder well, before I ask,
- 28And set thee swearing at the tedious task.
- 29First the Miscellany! --to Southwell town
- 30Per coach for Mrs. Pigot frank it down,
- 31So may'st them prosper in the paths of Sale,
- 32And Longman smirk and critics cease to rail.
- 33All hail to Matthews! wash his reverend feet,
- 34And in my name the man of Method greet,--
- 35Tell him, my Guide, Philosopher, and Friend,
- 36Who cannot love me, and who will not mend,
- 37Tell him, that not in vain I shall assay
- 38To tread and trace our "old Horatian way,"
- 39And be (with prose supply my dearth of rhymes)
- 40What better men have been in better times.
- 41Here let me cease, for why should I prolong
- 42My notes, and vex a Singer with a Song?
- 43Oh thou with pen perpetual in thy fist!
- 44Dubbed for thy sins a stark Miscellanist,
- 45So pleased the printer's orders to perform
- 46For Messrs. Longman, Hurst and Rees and Orme.
- 47Go--Get thee hence to Paternoster Row,
- 48Thy patrons wave a duodecimo!
- 49(Best form for letters from a distant land,
- 50It fits the pocket, nor fatigues the hand.)
- 51Then go, once more the joyous work commence
- 52With stores of anecdote, and grains of sense,
- 53Oh may Mammas relent, and Sires forgive!
- 54And scribbling Sons grow dutiful and live!